1 day ago with 103,237 notes | reblog

"When I die I want written on my tombstone “Finally Offline”."

macarena-of-time:

i hope revving your motorcycle engine in the middle of the night made you feel better about your small penis

(via radandconfused)

reasons why babies are not needed

  • head to body ratio is uneven
  • when was last time baby contribute to dinner time conversation
  • baby unable to hunt for the clan
  • baby is slow and usually racist

(Source: frankushington, via totally-not-american)

1 week ago with 151,359 notes | reblog

dutchster:

when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep

image

(via catpenhagen)

cunt-candle:

i cant tell if im really nice but secretly an asshole or an asshole but secretly really nice

(via trulyalouisgirl)

1 week ago with 2,031 notes | reblog